I love the chaotic humanness that is often our lives. Why would anyone love chaos, you ask? Well, why not? The way I see it is that every experience, big or small, presents its challenges and then you have a choice; either sink with the weight of it all and ultimately lead to sabotaging your own happiness… or learn to ride the wave!
Now I’m not the greatest lover of swimming (another story for another time) but the skill it takes you to get yourself balanced and standing upright on a board; your only progress forward, completely reliant on the swell and the momentum of the wave you ride. No matter how far it takes you, moments or milliseconds in some instances, bring with it a feeling of freedom a feeling of surrender and a trust in something far greater than yourself.
Without the swell and the rise of the wave you could never know what you are capable of accomplishing. You could never know how much you could grow or figure out why you keep sabotaging your own happiness. You could never know how free you can feel when you acknowledge where you are and surrender to riding the wave you’ve chosen.
We don’t always get to choose our lives, I do believe that some parts we do, but for the most part our life unfolds in such a way that we are often at the crossroads of choice: do I sink or do I ride the wave?
I choose ride the wave ALWAYS! Of course, I’m scared shitless! Yes, I go blindly! Do I want to go back to shore? Hell yes! Am I afraid of drowning? YES! Will I change because of it – definitely!
Below is how I choose to ride the wave instead of sitting on the shore watching others find their freedom, find their growth and become more aware of how to stop sabotaging themselves! Tips on how to stop sabotaging yourself
Keep Breathing
Breathe deeply. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Repeat this slowly. Focus your mind on breathing in all the goodness you want in your life and breathe out letting go of what’s not serving you. Breathe deep, full breaths. Begin to feel alive. Do this as much as you can and practice it often. Start a breathing routine. Every morning as you wake up and just before you go to sleep, do this breathing exercise for 3 minutes. When you get the hang of it you can extend your time to longer. Steadying your breathing allows you to feel more consistent in ‘being’ rather than being reactive in ‘doing’. You will also feel much calmer and stronger to tackle whatever comes up in your day.
Be More Present
.As humans, we spend so much of our time looking outwardly, comparing ourselves to others. We measure ourselves by other people’s standards. We feel and believe that others have everything, while we are just trying to get by. So much of our time and energy is given away. ‘Giving away’ means we choose to give our power away to circumstances and situations that disempower us and keep us feeling like the victim. It doesn’t matter how much we try, we seem to keep doing this over and over again.
Imagine what your life would be like if you accumulated all of that power and put it into yourself. Focusing it on your life, your wants, your needs and your dreams? If you could feel the victim role as strongly as we often do, imagine the strength and courage that could come from your inner YOU! The true you. The happy you. The contented you. The passionate you. The loving you.
So what’s holding you back? YOU!
Practice honing in your thoughts to the present moment, what you are doing right here and right now. Then choose to believe that in this moment you are capable of overcoming whatever hurdle is in your way. You don’t need to know how, only that you can.
Open Yourself To More
Be open to a better life, a more fulfilling version of you and be willing to receive more. More happiness! More joy! More abundance! More wealth! More vibrant health! More loving relationships and a fulfilling career! More, more, more!!! Stop waiting for the ‘other shoe to fall’ when things are going your way. Stop thinking that there is a condition attached to something going in your favour. Stop believing that you are undeserving of those awesome experiences or that they happen to other people and not you. Just be open and willing to receive.
Be Kind To You
When was the last time you looked at yourself in the mirror? I mean really looked at yourself. Not to criticize or judge yourself or wish your hair had more body or your eyebrows were straighter or your teeth were whiter. Today, right now (I don’t care if you are at work or home or school, wherever you are, do it right now) go to the mirror and look deeply into your eyes and say something kind to yourself, like “I like you”. Now say something positive about yourself, like “I can do this”. Of course you’re going to feel ridiculous, you might even burst out laughing or just feel like running away as fast as you can, but you’re going to ride the wave until you begin to feel comfortable feeling uncomfortable. This is the first step in connecting with you. We all need gentleness and encouragement to thrive. Stop waiting for someone out there to give it to you, start giving you what you need. Practice this exercise every day in the morning when you are getting ready for your day and every night before you go to bed. You’ll be amazed at how quickly you become used to feeling ‘good enough’.
What Are You Living For?
Do you know what you are living for? Do you know what makes you feel energised? Do you know what makes your insides feel like they’re alive and tingly? Do you know what you are passionate about? If you don’t know, it’s time you figured it out.
Part of our human responsibility is to share our inner core, our most real version of ourselves as an expression of something we love to do. When we are doing something we believe in and see the value in, we will never need anything from the outside to motivate us. Every day, you will wake up knowing what you are doing and why you are doing it. Everything in your day will be about how you can get it. No distractions or procrastination can pull you away from your dream, because your dream is merely an extension of you. Be bold, be brave, you need you, the world needs you. Right here, right now.
May your wave come in gently as you begin your journey of discovery and learn how to stop sabotaging yourself. May your balance be exemplary when you decide to rise, your confidence radiating as you stand upright. May your trust as you ride your wave be effortless and your surrender to ‘only good will come from this’ be an eternal mantra as you eventually reach the shore; breathless, with a racing heart, changed forever, shouting the words “let’s do that again!”
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