Stripped bare of the story of your life, you can only begin to rebuild from the inside out
These days, much time is dedicated to growing and educating ourselves to be better human beings. We understand the value and significance of looking within, finding our gold and then channelling this to the outside world. There is no more commanding experience of this, than that of losing someone or something you love.
For those of us who have not been directly affected by the tragedy in our beautiful Western Cape, we get to be the observers. The empathic of us, attempting to feel how those affected are feeling; the indifferent distancing themselves; the sentimental re-living old memories of what was and the fantastical, creating highly charged images of irreplaceable joy. And then there are those who are directly affected by the loss and devastation of their homes, their animals, their memories and their identity of a life lived or holidayed in a beautiful place in our country.
This is a time of shock and disbelief, until slowly the days pass and reality begins to set in… Stripped bare of the story of your life, you can only begin to rebuild from the inside out.
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, a Swiss psychiatrist, identified 5 phases of grief; denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance
Denial is a phase of disbelief. We cling to the idea that there’s been a mistake, what we are told is happening or what we are experiencing is happening is incorrect. A false reality is created as a coping mechanism until the mind and body can begin to process the experience.
Anger usually makes itself known when we recognize the truth of what’s happened. There can be feelings of frustration and outrage, especially towards the people who are closest to us.
Bargaining ourselves out of what has happened is trying to make a ‘deal’ of what we would do differently if we could have another outcome. We would give up something or change instead of the experience that we are going through.
Depression comes in many forms but this is usually a time of giving up and feeling as if there is no point to living as the devastation of continuing without someone or something is too difficult to bare.
Acceptance is the phase of accepting what has happened and beginning to move forward, to start living again. Finding the strengths and positives in what has happened can be life altering and healing.
No matter the loss you are experiencing, grief is real. It is also a process that unfolds on your timing. Be gentle with yourself and as you come to find your way, we will hold you in our hearts, the beautifully courageous people whose lives are changed forever.
Grief counselling provides an effective way to learn to cope with the stress associated with the loss and to manage symptoms so that you can heal and cope with the loss. If you are in need of grief counselling then get in touch to set up an appointment and allow me to help you to find your way
We’re not so different, you and me,
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